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SNL alum Aidy Bryant made her debut as host of the Independent Spirit Awards this afternoon in a speech that dinged the strike, AI, the indie world and past boyfriends obsessed with it. Bryant confessed that she’d try and do some “classic roasting” in the room, and that resulted in her calling stars like Greta Lee and Natalie Portman a “stupid bit**”. Self-deprecating, she knew it wasn’t going to go well, but she got laughs from the tent.
“I’m sorry, I’m not a good roaster. Just know, though, if you’re feeling scared, I only did that to people I know, I’ve met, or I want to have sex with.”
At the top of her monologue, Bryant beamed, “Welcome to the Independent Spirt Awards, also known as the bisexual Oscars!”
In mentioning that it’s the 39th annual Indie Spirits, Bryant exclaimed, “Hope you froze your eggs, Spirit awards.”
“I know about you filmmakers because my high school boyfriend talked about you while we dry-humped.”
“I was told what a tracking shot was by the boys who penetrated me!”
More quips about the indie world:
“This is the only place in America where $29M is like no money!”
“I prefer this awards show wasn’t so fancy — this is one of the top nicest tents I’ve ever been in,” she continued in her dig at the indie world.
Bryant tapped her collaborators Shrill scribe Sudi Green and sketch writer Fran Gillespie.
The strike per reports was always going to get a reference per Bryant.
“Speaking of the strike, is everyone getting coffee with the people you ran into on the picket line?…Because you have to.”
Keeping topical, Bryant drew her attention toward AI.
“Filmmakers in the eyes of executives – “Worthless little content pigs who should be replaced by computers,” see said, “Tonight, if your acceptance speech goes long, you will be automatically 3D scanned and placed in the background of The Mandalorian.”
Culminating in getting the Spirits tent worked into a spirit, Bryant, summed, “Today, we celebrate the resilience and ingenuity of your work, and it’s so hard to get something made, not to mention, this town can be kind of harsh. That’s Hollywood, baby, but not here. In this tent, we say, ‘That’s indie, baby,’ and if you’re an actress and are wearing your own shoes in the movie, that’s indie, baby.”
“When the solidarity from the WGA, SAG, Teamsters and IATSE shows us the collective power of our labor, that’s indie, baby.”
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