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Most people have at least one horror story about online dating. It’s a rite of passage that single people love to hate.
But the horror stories look a little different for members of the LGBTQ+ community. On top of the classic awkward Hinge date anecdotes, one-night-stand shoe thefts, and screenshots of a corny bio seeping with secondhand embarrassment, gay singles deal with all sorts of alienating interactions.
Baseless questioning of sexual history, harassment, and fetishization — some of it coming from cis straight people who shouldn’t have popped up in your feed in the first place — don’t exactly give one butterflies.
Still, dating apps have become crucial means of introduction for gay folks looking to settle down. A 2019 Stanford study and 2020 Pew Research survey found that meeting online has become the most popular way for U.S. couples to connect — especially for gay couples, of which 28 percent met their current partner online (versus 11 percent of straight couples).
But the Pew survey also dredged up those ugly experiences with harassment. This could be where specific gay dating apps — like HER and Grindr, for instance — come in. Their perfectly-tailored environments are so well-known in the gay community that they’re essentially in a league of their own.
Is Grindr the only option for gay dating apps?
Though Grindr and HER are big players, they’re not alone in the queer dating app market. Apps like Zoe, Taimi, and Scruff exist. But their plateauing popularity can be attributed to similar complaints: too many scam profiles and too few legitimate users (ones within a reasonable distance to plan a date, anyway). Chappy was a promising app for gay men that shut down just as it was gaining serious traction.
And at the end of the day, sometimes going for a popular dating app can be your best bet for a gay dating app — since that’s where queer users actually are in the biggest numbers. Keeping Tinder on the back burner isn’t just a straight people thing (especially for those who live in less-populated areas where Grindr and HER offer slim pickings). Plus, some mainstream apps do deserve credit for the steps they’ve taken to create a more inclusive atmosphere. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge now offer lots of sexual orientation and gender identity options. OkCupid gets kudos for enforcing that change years ago, as well as making social justice a core part of compatibility scoring — which kind of self-curates the type of people on the app.
How to choose the best gay dating app
If you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community and are looking for love online, you’ll find you have some pretty decent options these days. Depending on if you’re looking for something serious, a hookup, something that stays strictly online, or an altogether different definition of connection, there’s an ideal queer dating app out there for you. We’re here to help you parse through the offerings and pick and choose based on your intentions.
How we tested
We regularly test dating sites to provide our readers with the most up-to-date and accurate information. We also thoroughly investigate the features and functionality of each site/app to ensure we’re giving a comprehensive review, from signing up to the actual user experience.
We test by creating various profiles — some complete and others blank — to see how each app and site handles different levels of info from users. So, if hundreds of matches are generated with incomplete profiles, we take note as it may indicate a lack of quality control, bots, and fake users.
Additionally, we consider the diversity and inclusivity of each platform we’re testing: Including whether or not it caters to the LGBTQ+ community. Apps on this list with linked reviews have been hands-on tested by Mashable staff writers or freelance writers with experience researching/writing about sex & relationships.
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